


Ain't it Cold?

by triggerswaggiehavoc



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Knitting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5715568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triggerswaggiehavoc/pseuds/triggerswaggiehavoc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kanji decides to knit something for Yu, he gets a little overzealous, and now he's not sure he can even give it to him. What will he decide to do, now that he's standing on the doorstep in the snow?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain't it Cold?

Damn it. This was a dumb idea. A shitty, dumb idea. I should just go home right now, while I still have the chance. The doorbell is freezing against the tips of my fingers, hesitating right on the brink of pushing forward and making it impossible for me to abort my mission and look like a _real_ ass. How long have I been standing here already? It must be pretty long considering the complete lack of sensation coming from anywhere below my knees. Why does it have to snow so damn much? I can barely see the door two feet in front of me, and my scarf is so covered in ice that I may as well not even be wearing it. The only part of me that’s not screaming for warmth is right under my left arm, where I’m holding that stupid gift so tight it’s ruining the wrapping paper.

Why did I even do it in the first place? I guess I would be lying if I said I don’t know. 

I came to the upperclassmen’s classroom after school that day, just like always. That was the first really cold day we had. I mean, there had been some nippy days, days we were glad to be in the winter uniform, but this was the first day that really made everyone want to bust out the kotatsu and sit under it all day. The first thing I noticed when I got to the classroom was Yu-senpai, because it’s always him, isn’t it? He just has that way of turning every eye toward him in a crowd. I don’t really understand what kind of magic power it is; I just know I’m especially weak to it.

He was just sitting there at his desk, not really doing anything remarkable aside from being himself, but when I walked over to say hey, I couldn’t help but notice his hands. They were totally flushed, pink and cracking all over, folded in front of his face as he exhaled gentle breaths onto them. Just looking at them made mine hurt.

“You okay, Senpai?” I asked, restraining myself from reaching out to touch his clasped hands. “That looks pretty painful.”

“I’m fine,” he said with a shrug, gray eyes sliding up to look at me. “They’re just a little chapped. No big deal.” He smiled after that, and I could tell he just didn’t want me to worry, but how could I not when his hands look like that? I offered a thin smile in return, but he knew I wasn’t buying it just as much as I knew he wasn’t really selling it. That selflessness of his always killed me, always so willing to help but never to be helped.

He was about to say something else when it hit me: gloves. I’ll just knit him a pair of gloves! Then he won’t have to worry about his hands once winter really rolls around. Once the idea was in my head, there was nothing on my mind but getting to the store to pick up some yarn and get started right away. Senpai started to say something to me, but my brain was so busy that I didn’t catch a word. “Sorry, I, uh, gotta go,” I sputtered quickly as I rushed out the door. It was gonna get really cold soon, so I didn’t exactly have time to waste sitting on my ass and doing nothing. I heard the soft tones of his voice behind me as I sprinted into the hall, but by that time, I was already too far gone.

When I got to the store, I was confronted with a big problem: what the hell color should I use? Senpai’s the kinda guy that would look good in damn near anything, so it wasn’t like I could make a bad decision, but it also didn’t narrow anything down for me. The only colors I definitely ruled out were black and grey-- he wears so much of them already, there’s no way he isn’t tired of it-- but knocking out black and grey still left a huge spectrum to choose from, nearly the whole shelf. I sat in front of that damn shelf for a good half hour, working myself into a headache over these stupid gloves. In the end, I couldn’t even decide on one color. I picked out a nice sky blue, a cream, a mint green, and lastly… a soft pink. I knew I wouldn’t use the pink, but part of me was set on getting it anyway, so I did. I just decided to pick one once I got home and keep the other three for the next time I needed them.

A series of coin flips led me to making the gloves with the green yarn. I actually finished them pretty quickly, and I would have given them to him right away if it hadn’t occurred to me how cute he would look in a beanie. I still had yarn, so why not? I didn’t have enough of the green yarn left, though, so the hat was blue. They didn’t clash too badly, and besides, he didn’t have to wear them at the same time. The hat didn’t take me long either, but right as I was finishing it up, it only felt natural to make a scarf as well. He would need that, too, with how much the wind in Inaba cuts right past the collar of your jacket. I used the cream-colored yarn to make the scarf because I thought it would look the nicest, and it would also balance out the colorfulness of the gloves and hat. If he wore them at the same time. Which he didn’t have to.

By the time I finished all three of those things, we were about to get right into the beginning of the hellish cold that takes over Inaba every year. If I had just given them to Senpai then, it would have been just fine. But I didn’t. Why not? Because I’m a complete dumbass and I thought of how cute he would look with sweater paws and then I couldn’t stop myself from knitting him a sweater and it took  _way too damn long_ and the only yarn I had left was the pink and now I’m standing outside his house with this package full of all this knitted shit and freezing my ass off when it’s already been cold for a while and he could’ve used these way sooner if I wasn’t such a shithead. I shouldn’t have even brought the sweater. But then what would my excuse be?

I’m just about ready to cut my losses and head home to save myself the embarrassment when a sudden gust of cold wind pushes me forward and jams my stiff fingers right into the doorbell. I can hear the noise inside and the thud of footsteps as they cross the wood floor, and now it’s too late to back out. “Fuck you, you damn wind,” I mutter as the door swings open, a stream of light pouring forth from inside.

“Oh, it’s you, Kanji.” Dojima’s stern voice has something in it that always forces me to stand up straight. “Did you just say something?” he asks with a knowing glint in his eyes.

“Uh, no, sir,” I say immediately, and while he probably finds it suspicious, he doesn’t say anything else. “Is Yu-senpai home?”

“Yes, he is,” Dojima says, stepping to the side. “Come on in.”

“Oh, no, I--”

“Kanji,” he says sternly. I can really feel the cop in him when he says my name like that, and I would hate to be one of the criminals who has to deal with him. “It’s freezing out there. If you don’t want to worry your mother, humor me and come inside.” As much as I hate to admit it, I can already feel a cold coming on, and I don’t want to put Ma under any more stress than she already is. Reluctantly, I step inside. I plan to stand right at the entrance so I can quickly give him the gift and make my escape, but Dojima isn’t on board. “Yu, Kanji’s here. Why don’t you two go hang out in your room?”

Before I can even make an argument, Senpai’s standing up from his place at the table where he’s been watching TV with Nanako. Truthfully, I’d give anything to go sit under that kotatsu right now, but Senpai walks over to the bottom of the stairs and waits for me to kick my shoes off, so it looks like I’m gonna have to go to his room, which is gonna make my hasty retreat a lot tougher.

Once I finally get my feet out of their ice prisons, I shuffle up the stairs after Senpai, barely able to feel the steps under my toes due to my feet being 100% numb. When we go into his room, he immediately crosses to the far corner and begins rummaging through his things while I just stand there by the door like a total jackass. After a short while, he turns around and tosses me a blanket, which my half-frozen free hand almost doesn’t catch, and gestures to the couch.

“You can sit down, you know,” he says with a light smile; if I wasn’t so damn cold, I’d feel the heat rising to my face right about now. I waddle over to the couch and sit down, letting the blanket fall on my legs and warm me up little by little. I’ll just wait until I’m nice and warm, then I’ll give him this stupid package and leave as quickly as I can. Everything will be fine.

“What’s that?” Senpai asks bluntly, pointing straight at the crinkled mess of a gift still under my arm and derailing my plan. I’m not incredibly surprised, but I am caught a little off-guard by his directness. I thought maybe he just wouldn’t say anything about it until I did, but you can never know with him.

“Oh, this?” This time, I _can_ feel my face flush. “It’s, uh, nothing.” Actually, it’s the opposite of nothing. It’s too much, way too much. I should’ve backed out, I should’ve gone home, I should’ve--

“Is it for me?” His gray eyes are twinkling with something I can’t really place. Laughter? That bastard, is he laughing at me? No, no, there’s no way that’s it, but what else could it be? It pisses me off that I can’t tell.

“Yeah, it’s for you,” I say, tossing the package over like it’s nothing. The second his fingers touch that ugly red wrapping paper, though, I panic. He’s got them in his hands. I can’t take anything back now. Damn it, I’m such a moron!

“Can I open it?” There’s a hint of excitement in his voice, something like a little kid on his birthday, and my chest tightens when I hear it.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s for you.” My face feels like it’s on fire, the exact opposite of how it felt just a few minutes ago. I turn my head away at the sound of the ripping paper. There’s no way I can watch him open this, absolutely no way, and when I can’t hear the rustling of paper anymore, I’m already on my feet and walking toward the door. “Well, I think I--”

“Kanji,” he says, and I freeze. I can’t get my legs to move, not when he says my name like that. It takes everything in me to turn my head around, and when I see his face, my heart stops.

His eyes are shining, but not in the same way as before. They’re shining with a wetness I’ve never seen in them, like he’s about to cry, and his mouth is trying so hard to smile despite the trembling of his lips. He’s got his hands fastened to that sweater so tightly his knuckles are white, and the first thought that comes to my mind is that he hates it so much he’s about to cry and I’m a shithead for doing this to him and all I wanna do is take back everything but it’s way too late. I rush over to where he sits on the ground and kneel beside him, trying to pry the garment from his fingers.

“I’m sorry, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I mumble as I try in vain to free the sweater from his iron grip. My face feels hot and I can’t bring myself to look him in the eyes, my blurring vision firmly fixed on the soft mess of pink in my hands. “Shit, I’m so sorry,” I say, and I’m close to crying, too. I knew I was being an idiot, but I still did this to myself. There’s no way he would like all this stupid stuff he never asked for in the first place, but I came over here and forced it on him anyway.

“Kanji,” he says again, placing a hand on the back of mine. It’s warm and comforting, and somehow I find it in me to look up at him. His eyes are still shimmering as he inhales a shaky breath. “Thank you so much,” he says, voice so soft I can barely hear it over my own heartbeat. 

“Thank you?” I say like a dumbass. He doesn’t hate it? My mind is completely blank and I have no idea what’s going on, but I guess it’s always like that when Senpai’s around. He chuckles quietly.

“Yeah, thank you.” He slides his hand up my arm until it’s resting on my shoulder. Can he feel how fast my heart is beating? I hope not. “This is really… I love them.” He moves his thumb back and forth over my collarbone absentmindedly as he speaks. Am I imagining this? I feel like I might explode. “But why?”

“Why?” All I can do is repeat that last syllable and stare blankly into his curious eyes. He nods, wanting me to continue, but I’m not really sure what to say. “Well, the gloves… When your hands were all chapped, I thought you might need them, so I made you some. And I had more yarn, so I made you a hat in case your ears get cold and a, uh, scarf. In case your neck gets cold. Because I had more yarn.” I have no idea what I’m saying anymore, but I can’t stop myself from talking. “And then I made you a sweater because I thought you would look really cute in a sweater and I love you. And I had yarn.” I really wish I had something to hide my face behind right now because I can just _feel_ how red it is and _holy shit_ did I not mean to say that.

I can’t tell how he feels about my unplanned confession, and most of me doesn’t wanna stick around to find out. I try to push myself up and away so I can bolt, but Senpai just grabs my other wrist and I’m trapped. No matter what I try, my eyes refuse to meet his. “You love me?”

“‘Course I do.” Damn it, this is so embarrassing! I can never look him in the eyes again, not after all this. “Now, uh, if you’ll excu--”

“Can I kiss you?” _What?_ I whip my head around, finally able to look him in the face, and he doesn’t look like he’s kidding around. His face is close enough to mine that I can smell his shampoo. It’s strawberry scented. Ain’t that cute… No! Get your head out of your ass, Kanji, now is not the time!

“Can you…?” I can’t even make the words come out. What the hell is going on? Does he like me, too? “Do you like me?” He manages a small nod, his cheeks tinting the faintest pink, and my heart has already burst out of my chest and started doing laps.

“Can I?” he asks again, and my head just nods dumbly without even thinking. He leans forward and presses his lips to mine, the smell of strawberries and the sweet taste of him overwhelming me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this warm in my whole life; I feel like I just got tossed into the sun, but in a good way. When he finally pulls away, there’s a soft little scrape on my mouth.

Ah. His lips are chapped. Wonder if there’s anything I can knit to fix those.

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to maddy for giving me this idea, shoutout to kanji for being the best character ever, and shoutout to this pairing for being the best shit


End file.
